This week I cleaned up my room, heavy duty cleaning. since we brought mom home, I didnt really have a lot of time to unpack and clean things up and or out. So that was my mission this week, I got rid of two bags of trash, and a trash bag and a half of clothes. When you spend 3 months away from home, you can't help but shop, especially when you technically went of vacation twice.
I also set aside tine this week to continue my scrapbook for my summer, I made two pages in memory of my mom. They of course are my two favorite pages in my book now, whereas the quiet time page was my favorite to begin with. I went out yesterday and bought special sparkly paper to put it all on, and because black was her favorite color, its black and sparkly. I also bought a couple of things that I put on there. I have in all 7 pictures of my mom on the 2 pages...its actually quite a lot if you think about it.
I have been trying to write in my grieving journal everyday, but sometimes I am so emotionally and physically tired that I just can't.
Its weird being home alone, especially when you know that you would be here with her. I always have that feeling that I'm being watched. And every time I turn around I expect to see her there waiting with arms wide open with that ridiculously huge smile of hers. I never got to see that when I got home. She was in so much pain that she couldn't smile. That I miss the most.
this week has been a struggle, but it hasn't really been all that bad. I have realized that as long as I stay busy I'm ok. I'm not sitting thinking about what could have been.
Hopefully I will have the time this weekend to post a music group, if not it will be sometime next week.
Happy Friday and Have A Good Weekend All!
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